A friend just sent me this hilarious ode to the cucumber posing as a list of cucumber’s many (unsubstantiated) holistic uses. It extols the veggie’s virtues not just as a puffy eye remedy, but a puffy thigh remedy. As an ink-stain remover, a garden slug eliminator, a Lara Bar of fur traders, and a source of every vitamin known to exist. Hey, it can even do your dishes and balance your checkbook.
Truth is, I’m slightly addicted to cucumbers. I eat them in place of crackers, and I drop slices into my water glass. And cukes are my unsung hot-weather hero because of their giant water content (that’s a fact). So those are the two tips I recommend.
Here are a few others that Cucumber Farmers of America (I can only guess) want you to know about:
1. Cucumbers are a multivitamin. They contain vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
2. A quick pick-me-up. Put down the coffee or caffeinated soda and reach for a cucumber. The B vitamins and carbohydrates provide energy.
3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your window boxes? Place a few slices in a small pie tin. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but that drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.
5. Cellulite remedy: Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes. Its phytochemicals cause collagen in your skin to tighten, reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works on wrinkles, too!
6. Want to avoid a hangover? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins, and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients.